a lot of us OCD folks have a type of compulsion called "feel right" compulsion. in many ways, all our compulsions are "feel right" compulsions. usually the "feel right" component is an add on to a more defined compulsion. for instance, i have a compulsion to flick the switch three times when turning off the light. but my "feel right" compulsion might make me carry out the flicking of the switch three times over and over until i think it feels like it was done properly. another feel right compulsion relates to my prayers...i will often have to pray over and over until it feels right or at least repeat parts of the prayer. i also have to situate clothes on my body properly until they feel right. if they don't feel right, my anxiety overwhelms me to a bursting point. (a side note: right now i am hardly able to properly situate my clothes due to my broken arm and i'm quite upset by that!!!) during my pregnancy, my feel right compulsion revolved around my sitting on the couch properly. i would stand and sit over and over until i got it right. and i mean for a while.
another compulsion i have is to check faucets. i turn them off and then i must stare at them until it "feels right" to me. yeah, there's the damn feel right thing again. i will turn off faucets, go in the other room, start something, and have to return to stare at the faucet. during the staring i will usually repeatedly count to 3 or in multiples of three. its not a compulsion i want, but one i am literally driven to carry out...its like the drive to scratch when you have poison ivy. such silliness!!!
i will end tonight saying thank you to those out there reading this. not too many i'm sure, but nonetheless it helps. how does it help? well, it just means one more person is aware of this disorder and the toll it takes. actually, next time i am going to talk a little about that toll it takes...take a break from compulsions...see you then!!!
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